CHUKK! : "Crazy Phobias"
               GRAPHIC: THE "CHUKK!" LOGO
               SUPER (WACKY FONT): CRAZY PHOBIAS!



               INT. DAYTIME TALK SHOW SET

               CHUKK, a daytime talkshow host a la Maury, is standing,
               addressing the audience/cameras.  GREGORY, a man, is sitting
               in a guest chair, waiting his turn in the background.

                                   CHUKK
                         Man, today's show has been great. 
                         I am rock hard.  And it keeps
                         getting better.  We've already seen
                         Jalinda, who's afraid of mangoes.  

                                                                CUT TO:



               "EARLIER" FOOTAGE, SAME SET

               Jalinda, a fat lady, is running around in frantic terror as
               several people in mango suits close in on her, bearing
               baskets of mangoes.  She looks like she may be on the verge
               of a heart attack.

                                                                CUT TO:

                                   CHUKK
                         And then there was Wayne, an idiot
                         who thinks waffles are as scary as
                         ghosts!

                                                                CUT TO:

               Wayne, a fat man, huddled, weeping, in a backstage corner as
               audience members pelt him with waffles and kick him in the
               face.

                                                                CUT TO:

                                   CHUKK (CONT'D)
                         Wow, you know he's gotta be in a
                         lot of physical and emotional pain
                         right about now.  Iron-clad release
                         form, folks.  I sleep like a baby
                         in a bag.  

               Beat.

                                   CHUKK (CONT'D)
                         Well, now it's Gregory's turn. 
                         Gregory?

                                   GREGORY
                         Yes?

                                   CHUKK
                         What's your fear, Gregory?

               GREGORY gulps.  He's got the phobia real bad, and he knows
               something awful is about to happen.

                                   CHUKK (CONT'D)
                         Gregory?

                                   GREGORY
                         I... I'm afraid of sharp objects.

                                   CHUKK
                         Is that all?

                                   GREGORY
                         Pretty much?

                                   CHUKK
                         Are you holding back on us Greg? 
                         Is Greg holding out on us,
                         audience?

               The audience is in a sudden lather.  They begin to chant:

                                   AUDIENCE
                         CHUKK-CHUKK-CHUKK-CHUKK...
                         KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!

                                   CHUKK
                         Gregory?

                                   GREGORY
                         Well... I mean... I guess, more
                         than sharp things, I guess I'm
                         mostly just afraid of being stabbed
                         by sharp things.

                                   CHUKK
                         Bingo!

               Out come an assortment of armed assailants bearing swords,
               daggers, scimitars, plank with a nail in it, cleavers, safety
               pins, and so on.  GREGORY runs around in a panic for a
               moment, but is quickly stabbed to death.  The mood drops
               suddenly, all is silent for a beat or so.  CHUCK addresses
               the camera.

                                   CHUKK (CONT'D)
                         When we come back... someone's
                         afraid of being forced to watch her
                         children burn to death.  And later
                         on in the show, Round 2 of our
                         booger eating contest.  More Chukk
                         after the break.  Keep bein' a part
                         of it!

                                   ANNOUNCER (O.C.)
                         Like to be exploited?  We may be
                         able to use you in a future episode
                         of "Chukk!"  Call 1-900-555-CHUKK
                         CHUKK-CHUKK-CHUKK-KABOOOOOOOM. 
                         Don't wait, fatty.  NOW!

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 Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.